A Stage of Confusion - Moderate Alzheimer's Disease

People with dementia slowly move from forgetfulness into confusion and therefore also into a new, different, intially strange and threatenting mode of being. The attempt to keep up appearances and previous life has to be abandoned as memory increasingly dissolves. The person lives more and more in their own dreamlike world in which present and past blend together and in which the rules and structures of the old world - what is right, what is important - loose importance. At this stage people with dementia increasinly see themselves not as confused in a logical environment, but as oriented in a very unfamiliar and confusing environment.

People seem to retreat more and more into an inner space, a bubble in which they sometimes remain in a rather passive and apathetic way and curl themselves up, or from which they (perhaps after situations of excessive demands)come back into our world angry and excited with sudden mood swings. The person is less and less able to control body and mind, as a result expressing and showing their emotions in a more and more uninhibited fashion.

Dementia induces strangeness into what is familiar and this causes fear. How an affected person previously was seems to dissolve, to be distroyed, to be violated. It is hard to give up our old image of them.

Whilst caring for a person with dementia, the caregiver also has to release the person as the 'old image' dissolves. Often caring can be an attempt to cling on to this image and not being able to accept the changes in the person you are caring for. As the disease progresses, you may find this becomes more and more difficult. Your task is: to adapt to the fact that your loved one remains themselves but at the same time becomes somebody else or rather enters a new stage of life.

Often relatives begin to mourn. After all, you lose the other person and having to say goodbye whilst a person you care about is still alive is extremely difficult. The futher the dementia progresses the more important it becomes to release the other. Let your loved one have their way concerning appearance, cleanliness and behavior, gently stand by them so that they cannot endanger themselves. Accompany them on the journey away from us and stay close to them when they become strangers.

Feelings of guilt plague the relative; not doing justice to the situation is often linked to former unresolved feelings of guilt. These can lead to overattentive care which in turn increases the dependency of people suffering from this condition. The more they become dependent, the more burdened and stressed the caregiving relative becomes. A visious circle of guilt and dependency develops which worsens the disease.

It is necessary to support the capabilities of your loved one and to let them do what they are capable of. Every takeover of activity accelerates the decline. It is equally necessary to accept and deal with one's feelings of guilt by talking to family, friends, joining a support group and looking for practical, professional help early on. Without outside help, you cannot indefinitely care and look after someone without suffering yourself.

For information about local area support groups or other community services offered in your area, please contact the local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association at (716) 626-0600.

For information about the care and services provided at Elderwood Senior Care, please contact us at (716) 633-3900.