Caregivers Will Experience Changes in Relationships

Source: Alzheimer’s Association

 If you are a caregiver, you will experience changes in relationships with a loved one with a memory impairing illness, changes in your family relationships and changes in relationships with friends.

 You may find yourself taking on a new role in your relationship as your loved one declines. The person with memory impairment may no longer be able to perform certain tasks, such as balancing the checkbook, doing the taxes, handling financial and legal matters or make important decisions. The weight of this and other added responsibilities can leave you feeling overwhelmed. You may need to turn to family, friends, professionals or community resources for assistance.

 You may feel enormous grief over the changes in your relationship. Given your loved ones cognitive decline, you may no longer be able to have the same emotional ties that you once shared.

 Changes caused by dementia may cause the person with the disease to exhibit inappropriate behavior. React to your loved one with patience and gentleness. Give your loved one plenty of physical contact – a gentle touch or holding their hand can go a long way in soothing anxiety. In many cases, your loved one may be displaying behaviors or acting out simply because they are anxious and need reassurance through touch and gentle, loving communication.

 Family and Friends

You may feel socially isolated because your family and friends have pulled back from you - or you seem to have little time or energy to spend with them. Some people hesitate to talk with you for fear of saying the wrong thing or not knowing what to say or do. Take the initiative to contact family and friends and explain that while dementia has changed your loved one and affected your life, too, you value their friendship and support. Provide them with suggestions about how to communicate with your loved one and share how they can support you.

 Resolving Family Conflicts

Caregiving issues can often ignite or magnify family conflicts, especially when people cope differently when faced with caregiving responsibilities. Family members may deny what is happening or resent family members who live far away or are not helping enough. There may be disagreements about financial and care decisions.  To minimize conflicts, try to acknowledge these feelings and work through them.

 Have a Family Meeting:

Talking about caregiving roles and responsibilities, problems and feelings can help ease tensions. You may want help from a professional counselor or clergy.

 Recognize Differences:

Some family members may be hands-on caregivers, responding immediately to issues and organizing resources. Some may be more comfortable with managing finances, legal matters etc., while others may be more comfortable with being told to complete specific tasks.

 Share Caregiving Responsibilities:

Make a list of tasks and include how much time, money and effort may be involved to complete them. Divide tasks according to the family member’s preferences and abilities.

 Continue to Communicate: Periodic family meetings or conference calls keep the family up-to-date and involved. Discuss how things are working. Reassess the needs of both the person with dementia and the caregiver, and decide if any changes in responsibilities are needed.

 Contact your local chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association for information on support groups, care tips and caregiver stress reduction.