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Positive Communication Techniques

Persons with a memory impairing illness such as Alzheimer's Disease begin to loose their ability to understand and speak language as early as the first 2-3 years after diagnosis. It is very important that caregivers learn alternate ways of communication to prevent behaviors.

  • Get at eye level - be sure to make eye contact when speaking to them
  • Speak slowly and clearly. Avoid using slang.
  • Keep instructions and responses simple. Avoid going into long explainations and complicated responses. For example: When looking at photos, it's better to simply say "Isn't that a cute baby?" rather than explaining who the baby is, what their name is, who they belong to and their relationship to your family member.
  • Allow your family member time to respond to the questions you ask them. It may take 45 seconds or more for them to be able to process the information you have given them and come up with a response.
  • If you have to repeat, use the same phrases as you did the first time. For example: If you ask them to put on their jacket - but they hesitate or fail to respond - be sure to repeat the direction in the same way. If in the second request, you use the word coat or parka - you will have given them an entirely new word to process and think about. This may cause increased confusion and they may not respond or behave as you would expect.
  • Do one thing at a time. Try not to put on their shoes while they are trying to button their shirt. Too much stimulation will confuse them
  • Keep your body language and facial expressions pleasant and relaxed. The job of caregiving is very stressful and sometimes we put on our "busy faces". Persons who do not understand what we are asking of them begin to look at our facial expression and body language to help them decide if we are friends or if we are someone who may hurt them. Be sure to smile often when communicating - have a relaxed body posture - arms at the side or hands clasped loosely in front.
  • Avoid using negatives. Words like "no, can't, shouldn't, don't, not..." make adults feel foolish and angry. Being corrected all the time hurts a persons self esteem. Try and use positive words to convey your message - Example of how to turn negative phrases into positive: NEGATIVE: "No Mom - You can't go outside now - it's dark and you don't work anymore." POSITIVE: "Hey Mom - it's a bit early. Will you help me finish the laundry and I'll drive you where you need to go later"
  • Remember - if you enter into an argument or attempt to reason with someone who has a memory-impairing illness, you are already wrong. No amount of reasoning, arguing or discussion will help. Their reality is real to them. Try using supportive phrases such as "That must be hard for you" or "Gosh, you've been through so much." and then divert their attention onto another topic.

As the disease progresses, you may need to use hand gestures along with words to convey the meaning of your message. Take your time - if you are unable to get your message across after the first two or three tries, wait awhile and try again.

For information regarding ElderWood Senior Care's Memory Care Programs, contact us at (716) 633-3900.